Ryan (ryan_beaches) wrote,

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Damn, it's "Big Decision" Time!

What a great weekend! Actually, it was more like six full days of a good visit to San Francisco. We had a great time with Milo and Missy, and it was nice to meet a lot of Peter's friends. And Peter didn't work every damn minute I was there, only every-other-minute.

I even wrote a quick fic while I was there in answer to a challenge on the Cluben list. (I couldn't resist, Joey fatjoey. Thanks for the idea!) PJ and Missy put me up to it, really. (Now PJ wants me to write a Tarzan fic!)

So, here's the 'big thing' and the reason for this post: Peter wants me to move to San Francisco! He wants me to move in with him and PJ and be "part of their family." I guess this is tantamount to a proposal, although he didn't really put it that way.

And I'm feeling as jittery as I was when he first wanted to get together. I'm not sure what I should do or say. I fretted about it all the way back to L.A. This is no small thing, because it means giving up my whole life and lifestyle. I'd have to find a new job, which is never easy. I'd have to say goodbye to my old haunts, my condo, my friends, the beach and the southern Cal sunshine.

I'd have to settle down!

I just don't know if I'm ready.

Yes, I love Peter. And he knows that, so none of this should come as a surprise.

And I love PJ. He's a great kid, and he feels like a little brother to me already.

But will I be the same Ry that Peter fell for if I move in? Won't some of the stuff he's so attracted to be changed by these major changes in my life?

What about the old saying "Familiarity breeds contempt"?

As tired as I am, I think I should open a bottle of wine and snuggle up in front of the TV. I'm going to have a tough time falling asleep tonight!
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